Job Envy

If you have naturally ugly fingers and toes like I do, you already know what a lifesaver nail polish is. While I love that pretty pops of color on my hands and feet take the spotlight off of my flaws, my very favorite thing about nail polish is found on the bottom of the bottle.

Whose job is it to come up with the color names for OPI, for Essie, for NARS, for MAC, for Chanel? I want this job. I want to baptize nail polishes for a living.

Red isn't just red. It's wife goes on red or charged-up cherry. Blue isn't just blue. It's turquoise and caicos or lapis of luxury. Pink isn't just pink. It's pistol-packin' pink or pink me I'm good.

When we splurge and get manicures/pedicures, I have just as much fun reading the nail polish names as I do relaxing in the chair with warm towels on my legs.

Here's a look at some of the colors that I wish I had in my collection at home:

On My Wish List

(First row, from left to right)
1. OPI's Last Friday Night
2. Chanel's Nouvelle Vague
3. Essie's Fruit Sangria
4. OPI's Pinking of You
5. Essie's Pretty Edgy

(Second row, from left to right)
1. Sephora by OPI's Caliente Coral
2. Essie's Looking for Love
3. OPI's Gargantuan Green Grape
4. Sephora by OPI's Looks Like Rain Dear
5. NARS's Jungle Red

The Barefoot Blues

I have 22 days to find a pair of shoes (that won't leave me crippled for a week) for an evening wedding at the end of June. I've found my dress already - an ultra feminin, "frosted citrus", just-above-the-knee, silk chiffon strapless number from J.Crew - and I've started working on my tan...but I haven't yet found the accessories to make the outfit pop.

J.Crew's Silk Chiffon Arabelle Dress 

Since my dress is so simple, I have the freedom to play with elaborate jewelry and "loud" shoes. I'm leaning towards cobalt blues. Just by chance, I found a gorgeous pair of dangly earrings at a tiny boutique on the coast that could totally fit the bill - but I'd like to find a pair of dressy electric blue heels before I commit to them. Finding earrings is easy...finding shoes that fit (and in such a specific color) is not.

Reminder: I'm working with the aforementioned square toes here (see below - when we've established more of a relationship I'll post a picture of my thumbs too so you can REALLY feel good about yourselves). I hate feet - no matter how you cut it, they just aren't cute. Even normal ones. Mine are so unfortunate looking that I like to bundle them up in boots all winter and forget all about them. I confess that when I looked at this picture the first thought that popped into my head was those belong to me? Those ankles...yes they look familiar. I'll claim them. But those feet? I'm fairly certain they are a medical oddity.

Flipper Feet, Essie's 'Bermuda Shorts' Polish

I refuse to let myself buy another shoe shelf ornament to add to my collection of too-high-and-too-narrow's. That means that any normal width size 7 needs to have enough "give" built in for me to be able to walk comfortably - and that the ideal scenario would be to find a pair that comes in C or D width.

The hunt begins for that irresistible shade of statement blue:

Fancy Shoes, Cobalt Blues

(Top row, from left to right)
1. Zappos Couture's Kate Spade New York Karmen
2. Endless's Pour La Victoire Women's Erica Sandal
3. Heels.com's Blue Patent Senorita

(Bottom row, from left to right)
1. Zara's Fabric Wedge Heel Shoe with Bow
2. Nordstrom's Ivanka Trump 'Dermani' Sandal
3. Zappos' Me Too Jeanette Royal Blue Satin

And if I were to give up on the whole cobalt blue theme, here are a couple of other pairs (that won't necessarily do) that I've fallen in love with:

Different Dazzlers

(Top row, from left to right)
1. Zappos Couture's Kate Spade New York Charm Heel
2. Bloomingdale's Badgley Mischka "Lyndee" Evening Wedge Sandals

(Bottom row, from left to right)
1. Piperlime's Badgley Mischka Randall
2. Zappos' Coloriffics Luna Blue

Since I can't go barefoot to this wedding (although maybe I should go closed toe...), I'd love to hear your opinions! Do you have a favorite out of the ones shown above? What's your go-to shoe store? Which color accessories do you think would best offset a bright yellow dress?

My Less-Than-Perfect-Parts, Part II

In keeping with the spirit of full disclosure about my less-than-perfect-parts, I suppose I should tell you that my feet didn't make out too well when I was born either. They aren't overly large (size 7 in everything but running shoes - I always go up half a size) or noticeably smelly (although I'd skip the sniff test after a workout if I were you).

I try to go for pedicures every once in awhile to keep my running-induced calluses from completely obliterating the bottom of my feet and to keep my nails clean, clipped, and colored. My latest go-to for toe polish is a pretty light turquoise from Essie. 

Candy Mint Apple

Unfortunately, not even Essie's most dazzling colors can take the spotlight off of my admittedly square feet. They start off nice and normal from small-ish ankles but then creep wider and wider until they effectively turn my feet into flippers. If my thumbs look like little kayak paddles, my toes take after their less exciting counterpart: [mini] rowboat oars. In fact, the shape of my foot looks quite similiar to this spatula, which is aptly named the "Turning Oar."

Tom Littledeer for Williams Somona

Now that I've embraced the fact that I am a "D" width in running shoes, my little flippers have been much happier. Unfortunately, I can't wear running shoes all the time. On the off chance that I shed my workout clothes in favor of "real" clothes and actually stay up past 9pm, I have to squeeze all ten toes into some type of shoe that doesn't result in pins and needles, blisters, and redness.   

Much to the chagrin of my boyfriend, stilletos (and even most high-heeled pumps) are out. For a girl with perpetually tired legs and a fear of standing (let alone walking) on 4 inch spikes, thin (and usually narrow) high heels are best left on the shelf. That doesn't mean that I don't like them - I look longingly at my friends with the ability to totter around in them weekend after weekend and I catch myself bookmarking skyhigh pumps over and over again. Here's a pair I just can't seem to make myself delete from my wish list:

Colin Stuart for Victoria's Secret

Enter the wedge sandal. This summer staple makes my legs look longer without reducing my stability down to a centimeter-around dagger. I'm especially partial to the corked wedge, but all the shoes in this family seem to be much more forgiving width-wise and offer extra height without compromising comfort. Here's a look at a few that I've had my eye on lately (please excuse the different colored/sized backgrounds - I'm not tech savvy enough to pretty this up without my brothers around):

Sloppy Wedges Collage! 

(First row, left to right)
1. Lilly Pulitzer's "Just A Little Knotty Wedge"
2. Boden's "Silver Metallic Strappy Wedges"
3. Anthropologie's "Bright Foundations Wedges"

(Second row, left to right)
4. Shopbop's "Tevray Huarache Wedge Sandals"
5. J.Crew's "Crushed Glitter Wedges"

6. Piperlime's "Dolce Vita Toni Sandal"