Job Envy

If you have naturally ugly fingers and toes like I do, you already know what a lifesaver nail polish is. While I love that pretty pops of color on my hands and feet take the spotlight off of my flaws, my very favorite thing about nail polish is found on the bottom of the bottle.

Whose job is it to come up with the color names for OPI, for Essie, for NARS, for MAC, for Chanel? I want this job. I want to baptize nail polishes for a living.

Red isn't just red. It's wife goes on red or charged-up cherry. Blue isn't just blue. It's turquoise and caicos or lapis of luxury. Pink isn't just pink. It's pistol-packin' pink or pink me I'm good.

When we splurge and get manicures/pedicures, I have just as much fun reading the nail polish names as I do relaxing in the chair with warm towels on my legs.

Here's a look at some of the colors that I wish I had in my collection at home:

On My Wish List

(First row, from left to right)
1. OPI's Last Friday Night
2. Chanel's Nouvelle Vague
3. Essie's Fruit Sangria
4. OPI's Pinking of You
5. Essie's Pretty Edgy

(Second row, from left to right)
1. Sephora by OPI's Caliente Coral
2. Essie's Looking for Love
3. OPI's Gargantuan Green Grape
4. Sephora by OPI's Looks Like Rain Dear
5. NARS's Jungle Red

Wedding Woes

Here's the trouble with being the only girl: I never learned about hair.

For a very long time, I wore it slicked back in a ponytail as close to my scalp as possible. For an equally long time, my mom made me stand sideways in pictures so I wouldn't be mistaken for one of my three older brothers.

As far as I understand it now, I have four three options:
1). loose and down (read: perpetually in my face)
2). down but slightly tamed with bobby pins (never have any luck getting them to stay in...must be the thumbs)
3). semi pulled back with a clip in a halfway up/halfway down
4). all scooped up in a ponytail or a bun*

Blame It On the Thumbs

*Anyone I went to middle school or high school with knew this hairstyle as THE BUN - I went through a phase where I thought it was a great idea to use half a bottle of mousse to form a tight bun very nearly on the top of my head. I blame my tough time in high school on the fact that I had a headache 90% of the time.

Admission: I still wear THE BUN to bed sometimes (with just a quarter-sized dollop of mousse to keep the curly q's at bay)...and it hasn't frightened off Boyfriend yet! He must be a keeper.

My mom used to trim my hair for me until I turned about 8 (and actually started noticing that I had to keep my head constantly tilted a little to the left to make my hair fall evenly across my shoulders). A rotation of forgettable ladies at Supercuts used to cut it for me until I turned about 14...and started realizing that all my friends and their moms had hairstylists at salons and day spas. Now I get my hair washed, layered, and blown out by a sweet young mom at Cara & Co.

Cara & Co. Day Spa

And no matter what I do at home, it never comes out as good.

I've invested in outrageously priced hair dryers, flat irons, curling irons, and hair products. Yet even armed with all my tools, bottles, and mental notes, I just don't have the touch for manipulating my wavy (but thin) dark hair into something remotely chic. I know it can be twisted into soft banana curls with a little bit of encouragement and can be coaxed straight with a round brush because I've seen my hairdresser make it happen...But Humidity and Lack of Talent rob me of any hopes for a sleek and shiny look.

Sedu Pro Ionic Ceramic Tourmaline Flat Iron 1" Works Like A Champ

Tigi's Catwalk Curlesque Line Smells Like Apples

This is stress-inducing! because unless I rapidly develop some styling skills THE BUN might have to make a comeback for the wedding I'm attending this weekend. Poor Boyfriend. I don't think I'll be turning heads because of my yellow silk and chiffon dress, my royal purple shoes, my $5 bangles, my dangling gold earrings, or my French manicure (with purple tips instead of the classic white)...

Twiddling My Thumbs

This blog is going to save me from twiddling my thumbs (which got firmly stamped with the "wide" and "short" gene in the making twenty years ago, closely resemble a pair of stubby kayak paddles, and led to all sorts of humiliation throughout my childhood) all summer. If you catch me on a particularly self-deprecating day, you just might see a picture of them posted for your entertainment.

For the next three and a half months my job is to relax. It's a mandatory assignment of the worst kind - working hard at unwinding won't get me anywhere. For a compulsive resume builder who craves structure and thrives under deadlines, withdrawing my feelers for stress-inducing opportunities is quite a tall order.

This blog is a compromise of sorts - it's a way for me to stay productive sane while my precious to-do list is alarmingly blank. You'll find posts about recipes, health, exercise, fashion, and home decor. I can't promise that little bits of frustration won't crop up, but I can promise that there will be lots of photos of food that won't look too good to eat (be nice - I just ordered my first camera! and I suspect I'll need my brothers to teach me how to turn it on), an overabundance of all things pepperminty, frequent peeks into my virtual shopping cart, and candid updates on my love/hate relationship with running.